DIALOGUE WITH DIGESTION - What does your body really think?
By Valerie Lunden, MA

The mind and mouth seem to be in complete control over whatever we eat. Whether the person is young, old, active or not so active, the process of eating appears unconscious. The following is an imagined glimpse of a conversation that might occur during a not so perfect digestion day.

The four characters in this dialogue are the mind, the mouth, the stomach and the intestine.

Mind

I think I should order chicken. It says on the menu that this chicken is broiled and is accompanied by a baked potato and a salad. I want to stay healthy, so let’s see. I’ll order the dressing on the side and a soda--a diet-soda sounds perfect. I might still be hungry, so I’ll eat some bread while I’m waiting for my food to arrive. If I have room, I’ll order dessert. Yum!

Mouth

Well, what’s this? Looks like I’m back to work. Mmm... tastes good. I like the flavor. I’ve gotten lazy over the years; I don’t seem to chew my food as much as I used to. Maybe I should mention something about this to my friends, Stomach and Intestine. They’ve been working hard for hours to digest breakfast and last night’s dinner. I don’t think they’ll be too excited when they hear about the full meal that’s on the way.

Stomach

What’s up Testy?

Intestine

Not sure, Macho. Mouth says we should be on the alert. Another truckload is on its way through.

Stomach

I’m not even done digesting breakfast and she’s eating again?

Intestine

Didn’t I tell you not to take a nap?

Stomach

How can anybody take naps around here? That big mouth up there is chomping all day long. We’re both overworked, cataloging all the different foods that come down here. It’s a full time job. Half the time I’m not even sure what some of this stuff is. Fructose this, Poly-that; whatever happened to just plain old meat and potatoes?

Intestine

Well, you’re right of course. At least you get to discharge your stuff. At the end of the day I still have to deposit my stuff somewhere else. It’s been gradual, but liver down there has gotten sluggish since she turned thirty. What’s worse is I have no clue where to put some of this stuff when it’s not digested properly.

Stomach

So what do you do with it?

Intestine

Well, if I get four hours in between meals I can get rid of most it. But if the digestion day is like today where it’s nonstop eating, I have to resort to Plan B.

Stomach

Plan B?

Intestine

I dump the stuff.

Stomach

Dump???

Intestine

Yes. What else am I supposed to do with it? There’s usually a backup down there--if you get my meaning. Say for example we get one of those soda drinks to digest. Well, those are filled with chemicals, right? It takes longer for me to figure out what some of those things are. That’s what causes the backup! Even you can’t digest some of those manmade chemicals; am I right?

Stomach

Yes, I hate dealing with them. They stick around for hours. When the chemicals are coupled with a full meal with lots of ingredients, well that’s just plain hell. Sometime I get so frustrated I think about getting stomach cancer and retiring early. This job isn’t worth the perks sometimes.

Intestine

I know exactly what you mean.

Stomach

So tell me more about dumping, maybe I’II do it too.

Intestine

See, it’s easy. When the liver gets through elimination, what’s left over is all this white stuff. I think the Eaters call it fat or cholesterol or something like that. Well, this white stuff I gather up and dump. My favorite place to dump stuff is up there by Heart, lots of room up there in those cavities. Because Heart is busy pumping all day long, he doesn’t seem to mind.

Stomach:

Like a sleeping giant?

Intestine

Exactly right! And when the food is chemical ridden, like Twinkies or stuff with artificial sweeteners I just dump it anywhere it will fit. I figure, if the Eaters don’t care about what their eating then why should I? Anyway, at the regularity of food consumption going on up there, I don’t have time to mess around; I have to keep up. I don’t want to end up loosing my job, do I?

Stomach

But won’t the Eaters become ill?

Intestine

Fat too! But, like I said, I don’t have time to worry about them, nor do you, we have work to do.

Stomach

But what if our Eater dies because we don’t do our job properly?

Intestine

Look Buddy, we can’t change a darn thing down here. The mind and the mouth control everything and if they don’t get their act together, we’re all doomed anyway. No sense trying to do our best when we’re not getting any help, right?

Stomach

I suppose you have a point.

Intestine

Yes, I do. One way or another, we’re all going to hit the high road to heaven. Sure, we can make a few waves, create some problems like indigestion, ulcers and cancer, but in the end the mind and the mouth call the shots. Got my enzyme?

Stomach

Yeh. I got your enzyme. But, I feel sad now.

Intestine

ou ready, Mucho?

Stomach

I’m ready, Testy.

The End (until next meal time!)