My
God, I am starving. If I do not find something to
eat soon, I will surely die.
Hunger consumes my life. My young body is hunched
and weak, as if I was an old man. Some days I pass
the time by counting my bones. I would walk 100
miles through the desert to reach a handful of millet.
The sight-of-a-sparrow carcass would make my mouth
water; if only I was not too dehydrated to salivate.
I have not eaten a full meal since the last rain,
which caused a few precious patches of field grass
to sprout. Soon, there will be none of us left.
I am so very, very hungry. I grow thinner and thinner,
as my body starts to digest its very self. The last
thing I ate was a small lizard. That was nine days
ago. I gave half of it to my only remaining brother.
I did this to return a favor. Last month he discovered
a piece of tree bark and shared his bounty with
me. Unfortunately, my body was so unaccustomed to
food; I was soon doubled over in pain, as a flood
of liquid shot from my bowels. Ever since then my
rectum has protruded from my anus. My lower intestines
have begun to push their way out, as well.
They say it is almost the new year, but I do not
know if I will live to see it. My stomach is swollen
as if I was pregnant. I joked with my brother about
this yesterday, rubbing my bloated belly and calling
it "my little one." My brother did not laugh. He
lowered his head and cried.
My legs are like sticks and my eyes nearly sightless.
I am careful not to allow myself to daydream about
the harvest feasts of my youth, for my weak heart
might race and burst in my chest. Those who are
still alive have taken to swallowing dirt and rocks
in an attempt to stop the hunger pains. Oh, God,
why are we made to suffer so?
My only distraction from the constant, gnawing hunger
is the chill that runs through my bones. Even in
the sweltering heat, I am cold. Perhaps I will soon
die of pneumonia. This would finally quell the pangs
of hunger. I long to live, but even more, I long
to die.
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My
God, I am starving. If I do not find something to
eat soon, I will surely die.